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Instead, allow
me to share my simply stated life philosophy of how to treat others, which may
well help us all foster equity and inclusion. I say this because, at times over
at least the past 20 years, colleagues have graciously praised me for being
inclusive and encouraging and for promoting and mentoring minorities and women
within the leadership ranks of several American Bar Association (ABA) committees
and other professional organizations. Indeed, I received my latest award acknowledging
my DEI activities just a few months ago.
I have never
sought such recognition. Instead, I merely try to be kind to others, especially
those who need kindness. The concept has been described as “doing unto others
as you would have them do unto you” or “loving your neighbor as yourself.”
I prefer the
latter phrase. Millennia ago, an itinerant teacher said that loving your
neighbor as yourself was one of two most important commandments for virtuous
living. He was then asked by a lawyer, :“Who is my neighbor?” The teacher
answered with a story about a traveler who came upon a man by the side of a
road who had been robbed, beaten and left half dead. Two of the injured man’s countrymen,
separately, had passed him by without stopping. Now, the traveler and the
injured man came from two countries with a long history of enmity. They were of
different religions and racial backgrounds. Nevertheless, the traveler had
compassion for the man, bound his wounds and carried him on his own donkey to
an inn where the traveler paid for his care.
The teacher
then asked the lawyer which of the three persons who came upon the injured man proved
to be a neighbor to that man. The lawyer answered, “The one who showed him
mercy.” The teacher replied, “Go and do likewise.”
With that
illustration, I take the commandment to love my neighbor to mean that any person
— no matter where they come from or what they may look like — whom I find in my
path with a need I can meet is a person to whom I am to show kindness.
How does this
apply to my professional life, and specifically my involvement with the ABA and
other professional groups? Here are some real examples, which can be varied in
many ways.
 |
| Patricia with the partners in her first law firm |
When I walk into an ABA reception with hundreds of attendees, I look for those who are new, who may not know many people and who may find it all just a bit intimidating. I then introduce myself and ask them about themselves and why they are there. I want them to feel like they belong, because they do. Indeed, at various times in my life, I have been in their shoes — such as when I started attending huge ABA TIPS Fidelity and Surety Law Committee meetings in the 1970s and, later, Forum meetings — and I did not look like or know most of the people at those meetings. And in such gatherings, invariably, someone kindly made me feel welcome. I remember them and usually count them among my friends to this day. In similar situations now, I find it a pleasure to do unto others, as others were kind enough to have done unto me.
For years,
before the ABA issued any guidelines on speaker diversity, whenever I had influence
over CLE programming, I intentionally included at least one speaker who was qualified
on the topic and different from the rest of the panel or a majority of the
audience in some way, especially if they had not spoken to the group before or were
relatively new to it. In a similar fashion, when forming committees, appointing
leadership or serving on membership committees, I looked for ways to add new
members who might have differing life experiences and viewpoints to offer the
veterans in the group.
I have put my
philosophy of being kind to use several times in my career — including in the
last few months — when disagreements threatened to destroy the harmony and even
the existence of communities of which I have been a member. Lawyers are very
good at making arguments and taking sides; I have seen it happen in law firms,
ABA committees and other professional organizations. In such cases, it is my
experience that it is better to be neighborly to those with whom we disagree and
express opinions respectfully, with empathy and humility. After all, until the
disagreement arose, we were proud to be colleagues. And, as those who write
about implicit bias counsel, it is possible the persons with whom we disagree
have reasonable bases for their opinions and actions that appear as valid to
them as mine do to me. Shocking as it is to admit, on occasion, I have been
persuaded to concede I have misjudged those with whom I disagreed.
Loving your
neighbor is applicable to all aspects of life. So, in my current practice as a
neutral with JAMS, I try to treat every advocate and party with impartial and
kind consideration, respect and patience, and to ensure a level playing field
for those who do not yet understand the ways in which arbitration differs from
litigation.
I can attest that being supportive and kind to others has provided decades of joy. I recommend this approach to all who would like to succeed, help others do the same and make wonderful friends.
Patricia H. Thompson, Esq., FCIArb,
CollArb, is a JAMS arbitrator and mediator concentrating on
construction and surety claims, employment discrimination, wage and noncompete
disputes, fidelity and business insurance coverage analysis, and other complex
commercial disputes. She brings nearly five decades of trial, arbitration and
appellate experience to her ADR practice.
The Dispute Resolver was proud to work with Patricia in connection with this installment of the “Tuesdays With” series. This series recognizes that, whether gleaned from a lifetime of learning or a life-changing moment in time, we all have something worthwhile to teach each other. If you believe you have a perspective to share, please contact Marissa Downs for more information on how to contribute to this series.
